burning out means...

just had a quick lunch of leftover pasta and rainbow cake.... nummy :> i also made sure to top up on water. i'm making extra certain i'm not neglecting anything whatsoever in terms of self-care. i really want to be ready to hang out with ellis for my birthday on the 25th with as much energy as possible. being burnt out means i'm in the red in terms of owing myself love, attention and care. i've been giving and giving to others and forgetting about myself in the process. and this time, i was completely unaware of it!

even the Sacred Forest said i'm burnt out. i got Mystic Meadow for sanctuary, Enchanted Fern Grotto for refuge and Maple Spirit for generosity. there was more to the reading, however these three cards are a clear message to practice extreme self-care and comfort, to retreat and be at ease, to give to myself as generously as i've been giving to others. i'm certain now that despite the guidebook saying Maple Spirit meant to give to others in order to receive, in this context, it means i need to direct that giving energy inward.

i also know that in the coming weeks i'll be facing quite the challenge, given i'll need to handle my new peer support worker and her rowdy, unprofessional ways. my approach is to appeal to her desire to help and say that i appreciate her lively personality and desire to build a rapport with me, but could she please try to keep things on topic with my care? i'll do this because i know it needs to be done, despite my discomfort with confrontation of psych care workers. 

i need to be ready to face this challenge though, and to do that i need to make sure i'm taking care of myself first and foremost. there are many people i care about who i want to help, but i'm no good to them if i haven't first made sure to help myself. burning out doesn't even need to be the only reason to take care of yourself. you need to, period, if you wish to do well in life. all of us are human beings, not machines. we can't work non-stop, and resting and recuperating is part of our productivity. energy reserves for us are important, especially if you're disabled, and it's important to prioritise management of them.