2/21/2023

today has been very good!! :-)) i kind of struggled a bit this morning but things eventually got better!!

i get pretty bad anxiety, and often times i’ll have moments where i begin to mentally spiral and worry about everything. i started worrying if i’m failing my friends and boyfriend and not making them happy enough or doing enough as a person. i have a very big fear of being alone and was scared everyone wanted to leave me. i ended up crying for a few hours this morning because it was all so overwhelming. :-(

but more in the afternoon i got to see my boyfriend again for a little bit since we had a splatoon tournament today with our team and i already started to feel much better just seeing him :’-). we didn’t really get to talk much during the tournament, but when it came time to leave we took a little walk around the school and started talking n joking around!! then we sat in our little spot just at the bottom of the secluded stairwell in our school. we hugged and it was just the most absolute nicest thing in the world. his hugs can cure any sadness in an instant i swear!! then he said that i made him happy and i quite literally almost sobbed on spot. the whole morning and last night i was worrying that i wasnt a good partner and i wasnt making him as happy as he’s made me, so just hearing that was so incredibly re-assuring. and apart from that, everytime i look at him i just get so flustered hes just <33 so pretty!!! i went from feeling like rainclouds, to the brightest star in the sky . i love my boyfriend so incredibly much. i feel so safe with him, and so loved. he has been reassuring me very much in our relationship and that’s something that’s very special to me. and as he’s helped me so much, i really do hope i can help him with what he goes through sometimes, too. 

but that’s all for today, lets see what tomorrow brings us. :)

sometimes we have to sit in the storm in order to see the sun 🌻