OZZY OSBOURNE - PATIENT NO. 9 - TARGET VINYL VERSION - MISPRESSING ADVENTURE

After buying both the CD and the cassette versions on this album, I hesitated to get the vinyl copy only because I hate when they put only three songs per side due to time restraints. (I really dislike getting up every 15 minutes to flip the record.) However, I finally pulled the trigger the last time I was at Target because as I have seen their music department continue to rapidly evaporate over time, I figured the only way to keep physical music in a mainstream retail location is to occasionally make a purchase to show support.    

I was slightly taken aback from the $34.99 price, but figured this is what vinyl costs nowadays, and since this is a double LP, limited red -colored swirl edition it would be a nice addition to my already massive record collection.  Later that evening, I decided to proceed in the ceremonial unwrapping of my latest piece of wax and put it on the turntable.  I was not really prepared for the disappointment/surprise that would be in store for me!

First, I was annoyed that even though this was a double LP, it was packaged in a single sleeve jacket and not a gatefold.  To make things worse, the records themselves were housed in plain black paper sleeves and packaged with a credits/lyric sheet insert instead of printed inner sleeves.  Oh well, the packaging is weak, but I bet the vinyl sounds great.  Let me put them on the turntable and find out.

As soon as I put the needle in the groove, I could tell this record suffers the digital to analog processing that plagues almost every new release vinyl today.  The sound level is so weak, I had to dial my amp up a couple of settings to get it to sound half as loud as the CD version.  Also, I noticed that the record seems to be pressed off center as the needle kept waving back and forth as the record spun.  Although, this didn’t totally make the record unplayable, it was a visible annoyance. But my real surprise was waiting for me on Side B…

As I put on Side B, I heard the familiar organ tones that begin the classic Ozzy track Mr. Crowley!  Was a having some sort of weird acid flashback?  Did my stereo switch to a different input?  I got up and checked the record.  Sure enough, the record had the second side of Ozzy’s album Blizzard of Ozz pressed on Side B instead of the rest of Patient No. 9!  Although I was initially annoyed, I kept listing to the rest of the songs, No Bone Movies, Revelation (Mother Earth) & Steal Away (The Night) are all on there.  I couldn’t help but enjoy and also notice that even on this pressing, the difference in the vintage production techniques of these classic songs were so much better than the modern Pro-Tools cut and paste job that Andrew Watt used on the latest record.

After the classic Ozzy musical intermission of Side B, I decided to play the second disc to see if the crazy train wreck (pun intended!) would continue.  Luckily, the rest of the songs for Patent No. 9 are on the second disc but this disc seems to be pressed slightly off center as well, making my stylus dance back and forth as the record spins along, but the tracks thankfully play through.

After listening to the whole album, I debated returning the LP.  I still had the receipt, but I knew that all I could get from Target would be a replacement of the same album and most likely all of these have the same defect.  I later checked Discogs and my suspicions were confirmed.  Then I began to ask myself, is the quality control for new vinyl really that bad, or were these “misprints” being released to get people excited to buy them as “collector’s items”.  Recently, Target also released the Beatles Revolver album/T-shirt bundle with a mislabeled “Revoler” title on its spine.  Defects like this sometimes go for big bucks on Ebay and Discogs.  Regardless, I decided to keep my copy and will listen to it occasionally when I’m in an Ozzy on vinyl mood, but it seems now more than ever, if you really want to hear the best version of a new album, I hate to admit it, but it’s probably better to just buy it on compact disc!