being too silly irl

recently in the past few months i have made some irl friends and now have a boyfriend! which is very awesome-sauce and im so happy i love them all! but ofc there has to come a point where i must fully unmask around them and i'm a little scared! (unmask as in i'm neurodivergent and most likely have asd and obvi i mask around people a bit so i dont annoy them, ifykyk) . i mean i do act me around them, but i am not as silly as i usually am! with irl people i am still often shy and not talkative sometimes, but with online people my sillyness bar is to the MAX. but since these people only know me as the kinda sometimes funny, sometimes talks sometimes doesnt, very socially anxious part of me, im scared that if i start expressing my happiness and loudness and hyperness and talkative-ness side of me, they'll really start seeing me as annoying then they'll leave and i will be alone again :-(. but masking and not being as expressive as i want to is so tiring and feels very defeating, ugh!!! 

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