I started to prefer noise over music

I'm sorry in advance for my english, it ain't perfect but I'm too lazy to fix possible mistakes.

I started to play guitar at the age of 14, and I was very inspired by metal/hardcore bands, and good old emo shit as well <3 And I've been always trying to play it clear, and always fail. There is something in my hands that ruins it. So basically once I started to play "cool" it was pretty dirty cool, but with a lot of feeling in it.

Then it was post-rock era, where I used to use my guitar as a abstract texture noise machine, and than I paused playing guitar at all.

I guess everything has changed with Norma Jean - Polar Similar. I was just stoned, fuck, "I HOPE YOU BURN!" and it's getting wild. Beasty fucking guitarrrr sound! And I've beed digging into noise more and more, I started to play math rock that eventually became noise rock and such.

...

So I ended up here.

MERZBOW IS THE BEST.

I don't give a fuck, I listen everything from him, and any possible dirty noise shit I can get. I use it for work, I listen it to relax. Seems like "music" lost it's meaning to me since the recent obstacles (russian/ukranian conflict, another country, whole world want me to die, my friends aren't my friends, etc). So yeah, I don't want to dance.

But the hours and hours of noise, bitcrashed, LOUD, with huge lo end, scary. Fuck, I want it more...