A letter to my Narcissist

 Today is October 22nd…. Just a month ago exactly was my Birthday and I didn’t get a Happy Birthday text like the previous years we’ve known each other… October 19th I received a text from you & like always I ignored it… Im sure it was a I miss you text lol but i don’t care… I no longer care… cause I know you don’t mean what you say , never meant what you say… 

THE REAL YOU: When we first met shit was way different than they are now between us… They always say you will truly know a person within a year or 2 of seeing each other and that in fact is very true… Things were a lot different because i didn’t know the real you then. Even though as days, weeks even months went on you started to show me the real you but still I ignored it because I didn’t want to believe this was who you really were to me… 

HATE YOU: So I began to fall out of like with you over a year ago… Even though I walked away plenty times you kept pulling me back in your hole… i just kept allowing you to pull me back in as if i didn’t know when to tell you to stop! because going back knowing what you’ve caused me felt better than leaving you alone at the time and still I played the same games along with you… within those 3 years I’ve got way too close to a manipulator and narcissist and you really drained me and you didn’t care you just kept draining me, just to get what you wanted out of me and you noticed it stopped working cause you started to catch on to how different things started to get between us… You knew shit stopped working on me you knew you were losing me but yet you couldn’t let me go…. I told you to leave me alone for 2 years and you still decided to ignore my boundaries…You didn’t care about me and my feelings as selfish as you always were…. So i started not to care with you, I started to become just like you and you knew so because I started to hurt you deeper than you hurt me. LOVE, When I told you i loved you , you made me feel like i did love you but it wasn’t love it was just a feeling i felt when i was happy with you temporarily… you cant love a person into loving you is what i realized… I don’t blame you for any pain you’ve caused me because it was too my fault. I let you cause me pain i let you hurt me constantly because i didn’t care i became so numb to it that I wanted you to feel what you made me feel… Im exhausted, I’ve been exhausted I often had to tell my over thinking mind that nothing lasts forever… 

LAST KISS… I wanted it to hurt but for you to remember how bad it hurts… but instead it felt like our first kiss its like you have control over my body, mind and soul whenever you touch it some how that causes me to forgive you and let you do those things to me over again.. 💋

CLOSURE… All I want is for you to leave me alone for good… no calls no texts no pop ups…. We are officially done… this is a GOODBYE, not see you later…