day 2? (cant think of creative titles)

so i wake up only a half an hour ago, i see my ex wrote me on discord.

he has a new girlfriend now.

and to some people that would be great, but hes the one who broke up with me, not vice versa.

dont rly know what to think about it, part of me wants to be happy, but part of me never wanted to lose hope in us. he told me when he broke up that i didnt do anything to make him want to, he just felt he was too busy for a relationship and wanted to take a break. but the thing is that many actions and behaviors he was showing proved more that it wasnt that he was too busy, but bc he was tired of me.

and the worst part is that he wont tell me the real reason, bc hes always saying he cares about me  still, and from the way he says it and how he says it a lot, he seems to care a lot.

so if thats truly the case and if he still cares so much, why didnt he get back together with me?

its just bothering me so much, and the real problem is that i still care so much about him, i never want to let him go, i dont want to lose him

hes the light of my life, ever since we first met, he made me feel so happy when i was so sad.

im afraid ill never find anyone else to take his place.

i dont want to let go.

and another thing is that im constantly having my hope broken. every time i have so much hope for something, it gets destroyed. im so tired of it. why cant i just not have hope??