Identity

I found an old poem I wrote last year while struggling with my identity and sense of self. It is something I've struggled with my whole life and am only now beginning to grow and gain confidence in. This poem came from a challenging period where I felt lost and hopeless, with no idea who I was, but knowing that whoever I was, I didn't like. 

Now that I'm finally beginning to feel at peace and confident with myself, I felt it was time for this poem to see the light of day. I hope that anyone who feels the same way I did knows that they are not alone and things can get better.

- 

I am enveloped in an ever-growing torrent of every emotion

Encapsulated inside my weak and weary mind.

Overcome

By the thoughts and feelings which I have locked away

Reaching for a breath with desperation

As the waves descend over my head

Choking

Overcome

In one simple moment of weakness, I have managed to lead myself astray

From the act of defense placed up against my own wicked thoughts which invade

My every moment of consciousness and waking 

As such I stand on a battlefield

Land soaked fertile by blood of my battle-born wounds

As such I stand at the crumbling ruins of my walls built of pretending

Crumbling down in view of the shattered mirror’s sheen

My mind cannot float above

And in my continuing desperation, my cold fingers slip through

The hands of an imposter, baring my own facial facade

My own face, marked with the adherent paint of salt-kissed rain

Dripping from our shared eyes

The imposter is not my enemy

Yet I loath

With an ever-burning passion

Dripping slowly from my heart

Feeding the ocean

Dripping slowly like molasses

For my imposter bares both the truth

And a lie

Of my own meaningless existence