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I thought I would use this space to vent for a moment even though thats basically all I've been doing for like MONTHS now on any platform I can and it doesnt help lolzzz. Basically I had a boyfriend that I loved so so so so much and miss him like every second of every day but he was really really toxic and manipulative.
Don't get me wrong he wasn't all bad! He helped me to get some mental health help like he had gotten earlier in our relationship for the opposite of what I was dealing with, and get on meds n stuff. Just sorta by being there and giving me support.
All kinda went down the drain tho cuz like, again he treated me very not good over and over and over again and then, like the avatar when the world needed him most, he vanished :p.
Told my friends that it was his decision to leave and that I made him feel awful and terrible and im toxic and narcissistic etc. Which made me spiral further and yeah idk.
Anyways that was last year in like october and I still try to get people to message him for me every once and awhile (like once ever few weeks) just to talk to him so I can tell him how bad he treated me, both to get it off my chest and to try to "save" him from doing it again to other people. Because he did sum stuff that made me like, yk, not wanna live and Im still very much that way.
But its pointless, because I just seem stalkerish at worse or pathetic at best and hes never gonna like, do the right thing for once and just talk to me. He's shitty to say the least, I know its selfish to think im obligated to a discussion but idk thats how I feel atleast.
All that to say, I DUNNO wut to do because i dont even wanna b better, happy valentines day tho I know im in for a self harm spree loLLL also its almost my birthday soon ^^. Thanks 4 listeninggg
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samantha lynn
omg i feel ur pain im here if u need to chat
The Graveyard Sys (GORE WARNING!!!)
oka ngl I get u, a lot. I've been in that situation b4 w someone else, it was w a guy WAYYYYYY further from the US tho lol,
but to kinda sum it up, he has been nice to me too until he's shown his true colors, cheat on me, defends and possibly is a proshipper, shit like that
he even called me the most ugliest shit ever out of pettiness. and I'm still affected by it til this day. I've been thinking nonstop jus to talk to him and sort it out, but I know damn and too well that he doesn't want anything to do with me, and I don't wanna feel like I've harmed him again despite not knowing or been confronted of being harmful.
I don't wanna go into big details, but I will say that I've been in that kinda situation b4 and it also makes me wanna oof myself, but what matters is that you're standing strong and holding on
this is all up to you but if u ever wanna talk, I'm always here for ya !! my IMs r always open
(fuck- for a little context in the second paragraph, he basically accused me as being a harmful creepy guy despite the fact I've never meant any harm and thought I wasn't harming my ex, but ig he jus did not like me nor even tried to contact me at all :/)
sorr bout that I jus woke up and my head is dizzy as ell rn
by The Graveyard Sys (GORE WARNING!!!); ; Report
ur so sweet T.T and thats nice 2 kno people have been in my situation b4, my life atm has come down to seeing if he'd respond or something which is sooo sick and ik thats not something I should do or want especially bc he did sum bad stuff 2 me like alot, super super emotionally manipulative and cut me off of my friends. Y do guys suck :/
by Kawaii Pink Blood; ; Report
FR WHY DO THEY ???? is so fff stinky to have to deal w shitty ppl like them, but I'ma b honest, I'm rlly glad u aren't with him n e more, only bc I would b afraid you'd b in that same situation over and over again. but at the same time, ik u can't control wanting to talk w him and reason shit out, n prob some day it'll happen, and it may take forever. all I gotta do is give urself some time and patience, let everything flow for a moment in your path, like keep moving on as best as possible like having minor distractions, small hobbies or jus talking w friends in gen. it's ok if u can't, jus as long as u tried ur best ! ^^
by The Graveyard Sys (GORE WARNING!!!); ; Report