Poison My Psyche

Before I end this, I just need myself to know, that I am not capable, and that I need to pull back before I reach, before I get burned again, if I want a honey, I know I'm going to bee stung. Before I begin I'd like to say I need to be better, I need to be stronger, I can't be on the floor like this with the pills of you in my hand ready to be consumed when I have yet learned how to breathe on my own. I'm aware, I'm more than aware, and but what is risk if not a chance at reward. I would die if I ever made you feel the opposite of how I feel.  I am a FALSE gemini, who is asking for a Romeo and Juliet ending but Juliet will not take her poison, she isn't stupid. I'm aware, I'm more than aware, and but what is risk if not a chance at reward. I would die if I ever made you feel the opposite of how I feel.  I don't mind it. How could I, when it's the north and south connecting why would I want anything else. It's so intoxicating, drowning, burning, dying. How do I even feel, asking to overdose on a chance that won't even effect in a two way streak. Before I begin I want you to know, that I am down, I am more down than I could ever be, but I'm beyond scared, I wasn't trained for this. I hope my vulnerability won't kill me. If you breathe love, I wouldn't be able to take it because of my weak lungs. I'm a hypochondriac, I believe, and I will always believe in where we could stand but I'm so lost if we even exist, when I think in the end I'm just searching for A person, not THE person. Before I end this, I just want you to know that through all the lies and mistakes, through my own facade, I just, love. I can't tell if this tension is real or not, but if you're even playing into the idea a little bit, it's all I need, I'd let you poison my psyche, and erase my thoughts and replace them completely with you. I'm a hypochondriac, I can't be in a position where I'm overthinking about things that aren't true, delusions of the heart are the lies of the fools. And I'd take it better if you didn't ask, you could just have, just say the words. I'd hate it, if you poisoned my psyche anymore than you already do, filling my thoughts with what, nothing but empty dreams.