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As anyone else probably did during the year 2020, I had this hope that my life was going to change from the everyday mundane tasks of a introvert to a successful business savvy extrovert. Boy, was I fuckin wrong. I started college, after like 4th time tryin to make something of myself, back in August of 2019. You see, I'm a makeup enthusiast. And somewhat of an artist. My talents are limited compared to the amazing artists out in the beauty community. But nonetheless, I still think I'm an artist. So, I aimed to take my chances and grow my talents and take them further. Or as far as I could take them. Sky's the limit. Let me tell you, I STRUGGLED to accomplish everything neccessary to get enrolled and have supplies and everything. Which cost, thousands of dollars. Oh. That's bc I went to college for esthetics. I learned so much and I even managed to pass first semester. That was a huge accomplishment for me and it made me believe in myself in a way that I never thought I was able to do. Then second semester happened. Here we go, round 2. Let's get this done!! I cant tell you how long or often I would study but I had a dream of being a traveling skin care therapist/ esthetician/ makeup artist that got to travel everywhere.
SPRING BREAK 2020 was where everything changed for me. I ended up in the hospital. I had to stay there a whole week. And while I was recovering from an unknown and still unresolved issue of vertigo, I heard on the news that a new virus was spreading like wildfire throughout the country of China. I remember thinking to myself, "Good thing I'm in America." Which in turn was the most selfish thought I had in that moment. And as it has turned out, selfish in every aspect since. I was released from the hospital and before I knew it, COVID-19 had hit the United States and was spreading at a rapid pace. Suddenly, all my hopes and dreams would come crashing down as this virus took hold of the entire world.
The realization that I was now in the middle of a deadly pandemic had taken grip of my soul and livelihood. I still hadn't even graduated college. I was still in the process of making my dreams come true. But the pandemics strength soon settled within me in pure panic and fear. I'm sure I was not alone in that sense But, fuck. It sure felt like it. I think the worst part of this whole thing was the mentality I had developed from switching from introvert to extrovert back to introvert (bc of forced quarantine). Ifelt as if I was going insane. My mind never stopped for a second and took a breath!! It jus kept going and going and going about impending death!!Waiting around for covid's cold grip to grasp my soul. Torture, really. And I still hadn't finished college.
In the midst of all this mental chaos. I still had to graduate. And idk how I did it but I did graduate. One of the many whom graduated in the midst of a pandemic. But, what does that even mean? I still can't do anything with it bc the fear and the possibilities of dancing with covid's cold hands are still there, even stronger than before.
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