[Journaling](Day 18) I laughed the loudest, who'd have known?

Tuesday.

Woke up at 6:30 with a headache. Slept under 5. Normal night.

Got to school approximately on time, missed a bus but got the next one 10 minutes later.
Sat there in the cold.

Got to class. It was painful. So long. I was tired and unable to think and this wasn't helping. Algorithmics at this hour should be illegal. It's not.

I barely survived the class. I had to work on myself to keep myself awake and able to think and stand up and not just collapse.

As soon as it ended, I just fell over on a bean bag in the empty room next door.

I wanted to rest.

People from my class came over to work.

I should've worked. But at this point, what use is it?

Is there even so much as a use to it all?

It is ruminating over it that I eventually got up to go and get myself some food, and came back still in as much of a merry mood. Blood under my shirt.

English classes. As boring as always. Did ratio the teacher by spitting on English food. Left him speechless. I wish I could say everyone clapped. They just laughed a bit and we got back to our schedule, whatever said schedule is.

Cut, cut, cut.

It was worse today than ever before. The fact that I'm getting accustomed to the pain and the blood will not help.

I got back home early, got some groceries, and went home.

Tried to work on my project. Was of very little use. We ended up spending 2 hours trying to fix a git that is still broken at this hour.

Sometimes I wonder why I'm still around.

I've never learned to let go.

Today just brought me nothing. It was a soulless day.

Tomorrow will not be better, as far as I'm concerned.

It is tired and bleeding, once more, that I end this post.

Good night, lone reader. I wish you better days.

I never thought I'd die alone
I laughed the loudest, who'd have known?
I trace the cord back to the wall
No wonder, it was never plugged in at all - Adam's Song, Blink-182

Laporte, signing off. Peace out.