so many thoughts within my head (rant)

i dont really want to vent to my partner johnny rn cause i dont want to worry him, but like as a trans guy in the US im really scared, and for my grades aswell, not to mention that my dad talk down about when i spend on things for myself (ie. a keyboard and some lipcare) like yeah i wanna get a car but i would like to get things id like to use right now first, hell i dont even have a permit!
and i gotta wait for my birthday so that im 18 so i can  do commisions cause i fucked that shit up too, they really dont understand with how its like within the economy today as a new adult type thing, hell my mom got her first car with 500$ i gotta get one at 5000$, like im seriously fucked and they can get it through their fuckin head, i fucking hate this town...

im going to reorganize my desk and set it up better. i gotta keep my mind busy