February 5th 2023

Apologies for not writing but these past few days have been hectic.

On the second I debated putting in my one week notice.

On the third I cancelled all of my interviews and decided to stay where I was.

On the third my lover was in an accident.

On the fourth my mother needed help moving everything around in the house.

Today I became very sick.

I knew I was sick since the second.  I could feel the sniffles and the sore throat but I didn't really do anything about it; I just pushed my way through the work day.  Yesterday was the first day it hit.  It wasn't much more than a stuffy nose and dry throat, since I had to sleep with my mouth open to breathe.  Today was when it took a turn for the worse.

Not only is it a stuffy nose and dry throat, but it's also clogged sinuses to the point of my ears popping, not wanting to sleep but my eyes being too heavy, green mucus everywhere, and coughing like never before.

I took three covid test within the last week and they all came back negative but, at this point, I wish it was covid as even that didn't feel this bad.

I don't think it's the flu as I've had my flu shot and I don't feel like I'm running a fever.  We don't have a thermostat so my father put his hand against my head and said I'm fine.  I just hope it's not the RSV that's been going around.

Other than the sickness, I've been rearranging my room this past weekend.  I took out my dresser and replaced it with a shorter one.  I bought some plastic storage bins and put them in my closet.  My new vanity just came in today which means I have to empty out my current one, and I'm getting my mother's old nightstand.  I haven't ordered a new bookcase yet as the ones I'm looking at are a bit on the higher end and I want to wait until my next paycheck to order one.  

The work was mostly done yesterday since today I slept a lot.  I have half of the day off tomorrow since I had an interview but I might call in tomorrow and call out for the whole day, depends on how I'm feeling when I wake up.  I'm going to try to make an appointment with my doctor tomorrow so that I can be given more than dayquil to make me feel better quicker, plus I'll have a sick note for work.

Since my vanity came in earlier than expected, I'm hoping that the guitar I ordered does too.  I tried playing guitar in the past but switched to the ukulele after seeing the differences between the "C" chords.  I want to try out guitar again as there are only so many notes that can make a song sound sad on the ukulele and I primarily make sad songs.  

I hope one day I can write more upbeat songs but for the moment I'm comfortable with writing about my trauma and darker feelings.