the J name who is just as hopeless

have you thought of me as much as i think about you?

the feelings i once felt for you fortunately haven't resurfaced, though i catch myself leaning into your hot cigarette breath and staring at your jaw. i just missed missing you, and so the poetry saga continues, this time it's a little different. i've lost you once and i don't want you leaving too soon, just stay long enough for me to bask in your eyes and to read your thoughts. that feeling of the fuse being struck by lightening will always lay in the bottom of my stomach and your scent is imprinted into my memory, i still smell it at night. it reminds me of the front porch light and guitar strings buzzing through my ears as i watch you walk out my driveway in the rain, i couldn't convince you to let me drive you home. is it okay to admit your imaginary kisses to my throat keep me up at night wondering if you're okay? what's your brain like? because after the distance i know it's just as fucked up as mine.

i love you.