It's been awhile

Well it's been 10 months since I've been on. I forgot this existed tbh. A lot has happened over these past 10 months. I graduated high school and started college. Last semester was pretty great but recently I haven't been feeling too well. I want to go on a date, I really want someone to like me in that way. I'm trying to talk to this guy from my class and we're okay friends. He told me about his worries a few days ago. We were gonna hang out but he got sick :/ Ngl I overthought that a lot. I hope he'll reach out to reschedule. My biggest fear is that I'll be annoying but I keep telling myself that probably isn't true and if he isn't vibing with me he can express that. It's not good to worry about what other people think of you. But more about school. I'm really not feeling it. I feel so guilty about it. I don't feel like I study enough or am doing enough. I keep messing up on tests too. It's late and I'm probably sick which most likely isn't helping how I feel. It's just been a sucky night.