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Category: Life

Hey, Its been a while

Well, haven't been on here in a while or written. I had the desire to write an update, but after the work to get on here, I forgot what I wanted to write, lol. 

Things I'm excited about: 

Women's group - Ladies' night

Purpose: to talk and get away from kids to let go of our burdens or share them with the group. 

We have a Women's Group Bible study, but at the last one, I felt like we needed something more. Bible Study is great and truly needed, but I think with our lives and the burdens we are all carrying, we needed a night not specifically focused on Bible Study but on applying the Bible. 

Galatians 6:2 calls us to bear one another's burdens and to truly hurt along those are hurting. There should never be a time where you are embarrassed or ashamed of the way you are affected by the world's sin and brokenness.

Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

“The Amalekites came and attacked the Israelites at Rephidim. Moses said to Joshua, ‘Choose some of our men and go out to fight the Amalekites. Tomorrow I will stand on top of the hill with the staff of God in my hands.’ So Joshua fought the Amalekites as Moses had ordered, and Moses, Aaron, and Hur went to the top of the hill. As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning. When Moses’ hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up—one on one side, one on the other—so that his hands remained steady till sunset. So Joshua overcame the Amalekite army with the sword” (Exodus 17:8-13).

I was going to put some notes here, but it is all so good, so I'll just post the whole link:

So at this women's group bible study, we always have our children. Which is great, but also, sometimes, it is nice to get away from the kids. However, sometimes some of us don't have the support or ability to get away from our kids. So I would "hire" a babysitter to watch the little kids in the nursery and send the big kids to the basement while the women join together on the main floor. 

Things I'm struggling with:

I wanted to go to see The Chosen season finally in theatres. I asked the women in the group and didn't get a response. I asked my sister, and she won't be back yet. So I begged Gma to watch the series and come with me to see it. And though the girls are not caught up, I'm taking them too. 

This had me pretty discouraged, though. Why would none of these women want to go with me? I want to have a relationship with them outside of Church. I want them to be my friends and community. 

I tried to talk to Aunt about going, but she hasn't watched the show, and I don't want to be all pushy, putting my beliefs on her. I know she believes but is often uncomfortable with some "religion" things because she feels she doesn't know as much. Well, that's ok. I shared the app with her, and maybe she will check it out. Hopefully, it will make her more comfortable and relatable. The Bible is intimidating, but this show makes it more friendly and relatable, and human. 

My sister

She believed, and I confirmed she watches the show, but she couldn't confirm if she would have time and the ability to go with me. 

I then thought about how cool it would be for her and me to do The Chosen bible study together and get together to watch the show together each week. If I can work to build our relationship together in GOD, that maybe it will make our relationship as sisters stronger. We often go back and forth between being close or not so close. 

Being an adequate mother and wife

Am I good enough for my husband? Am I a good enough mother to my children? 

1st My stepdaughter - I'm trying to build a relationship with her so that she doesn't feel second best to my daughter from my previous relationship. That I care about her just the same. Also, being aware and concerned about the young girl things she is going through with friends and school. I want her to know I care and I'm here for her. 

2nd My daughter from the previous relationship - She is so emotional. She has hurt by her dad being gone, and I think feels lost with the new big family. 

3rd, the Baby with the Husband and I - very much a 3rd child wild, dependent, maybe acting out to keep attention. 

4th, the baby, the boy

We don't have a very good routine for any of the children or family, and I think we really need to work on that. 

I need to find a way to make our family more intentional in what we do from day to day. To get us a good consistent routine. 

Anyway, after writing for a while, I start feeling like I'm getting lost and rambling, so I might end for now and come back when my thoughts get back on track. 

Other mother/wife friends, do you have these struggles? 

Christian friends, can you relate?

Later I need to talk about Paparazzi, Editing and all the other things. 

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