Bpd

Borderline Personality Disorder… bpd for short but for me it’s the childhood traumas and the constant fear of being hurt not just mentally but physically. Like I’m afraid to fall because getting hurt triggers the feeling of my mothers heavy hand. Being hurt triggers me in other ways as well such as harm to myself because that’s the only way to cope with the pain… pain. It’s also the fluctuation in moods every second meaning I’m exhausted 24/7 mentally. It’s the vivid dreams of my ex almost killing me as I sleep on the phone with someone who would never hurt me. It’s the constant voices reminding me of what Carmen or her little posse said to me in high school.. but that was years ago so why should it matter now. Bpd or any other mental illness isn’t cool or cute and I’m tired of seeing these tiktok kids pretend to have it while there are others who struggle so much. I hate society.