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hi. just a few disclaimers before moving on:
- i'm not going to give BS pickup artist advice. from my experience, pickup artist tactics are fucking weird and absolutely do not help out one bit, plus people aren't that dumb - it's easy to sniff that shit out from a mile away.
- i've dated for quite a while now, but i'm by no means 100% an expert on any of this stuff. your mileage may vary.
- this advice should be applicable to any gender, but i can only really be honest about approaching this as a guy.
without further ado, here's some general tips that i think should help everyone out if you are at all struggling out there as a single person.
- if you find it hard to talk to someone of the gender that you want to date, relax and talk to as many people of that gender as you can, preferably first as a platonic connection. this should help break that fear so that you act like yourself in front of someone you want to possibly date.
- do not pressure people into anything. don't be needy. be busy. if you are struggling on finding hobbies, here's some ideas: learn to cook, read some books, get a record player and stash some vinyl, but yeah, figure this out for yourself and be all about it
- if the other person isn't responsive, just let it go and move on to the next one. people who are interested will reach out proactively.
- for guys, i would say that a good portion of dudes just do not know how to dress well. if you improve how you dress (simply by finding clothes that fit, maybe even subscribing to /r/malefashionadvice for inspiration), your attractiveness goes up quite a bit.
- do the things you want to do for yourself and not to attract anyone else. for real, i've fallen into this trap a few times, and then you end up in a situation where you're basically just lying to the other person and can't keep up with what made the person attracted to you in the first place.
- if someone does not respond to your approaches, let it the fuck go and move on. be friends with them or don't be friends with them, just know that you should not hold on hope that they will magically change their mind about you as a potential date/potential fuck.
- sex-wise: learn how to listen to your partner's vibe and overall disposition, and also learn how to pleasure them. for straight guys, definitely learn how to go down on someone or how to use your hands (i guess this goes for straight women as well) - i hear so many horror stories from other women about how terrible men can be in bed, and knowing how to use your hands or your mouth goes a long way
if anyone's got other tips (or have questions, criticisms, etc.), let me know in the comments!
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Josh
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