regret

tl;dr: i made a small joke abt my bf and we broke up and im pretty sure i tried to manipulate him into staying with me.

lmaooo this is gna sound so stupid but i've been thinking abt how i broke up with my ex and i came to the realization that i'm a fucking asshole. this was a VERY long time ago but let me explain. we'd been dating for the shortest amount of time (like a month) so i didn't think it was that deep after we broke up, but now, when i found out we were going to be in the same class, i started thinking things through a second time. while we were dating, everything was completely fine. we were like best friends. but, on the day we broke up, that's when i started acting up. there's this photo of him in his weird anime phase wearing a mask that said "hentai". i wanted to laugh with him at the photo along with my mother friends, so i sent the photo to our groupchat. he didn't take it well at all and immediately left the chat. i kept adding him back, thinking it was a joke until the third time through. i rushed to our private chat and started bombarding his phone with apologies, and constantly telling him i loved him. then, when he wouldn't reply, i told him he had the rest of the day to respond and try working things out, otherwise we'd break up. he didn't reply, therefore causing me to come out and say we were done. i was fine after that, but i went through our messages again and now i'm realizing that i was very unreasonable. i should've given him more time to process what just went down instead of ending everything between us. i'm pretty sure i tried to manipulate him into feeling like the bad guy for not responding. the lovebombing isn't a good thing either, i feel like that made him even more guilty. i want to apologize to him but he wouldn't want to talk to me. so ig that's that. it is what it is and i can't change that.