What up Spacehey,

It's ya boy, Sleepy M comin' back with a sick post. Literally I'm sick again wtf

Ugh so I'm moving out of the dorms because my life is in shambles! Why is it in the Shambles? It's because I didn't pay my tuition! Why didn't I pay my tuition? I didn't pay my tuition because my parents said that they would pay!

Obviously, they did not.

So for a little background, the government gave me roughly ~500 dollars a month for going to college (And that only started in October... T_T ). My parents apparently thought that the government also would pay for my classes... but c'mon guys we all know that the government wouldn't pay for my college.

My dumb ass assumed that they had put money aside for my college, since my dad worked a pretty OK-paying job 'til I was 14. When they told me the government would pay I called the hotline provided and ofc (emphasis on the "FUCKING" part of "of fucking course") the government was like "uh no way we just give you the cash lmaooo, don't be delusional pookie."

My parents were like "oh man that sucks--for you, not me tho" and basically told me to get on the government and the school. So I did. Trying to get help from them was trying to drive in Europe; just running in circles. They just kept saying, "well idk what to tell you, just get a loan lol."

Here comes my DUMBASSEST moment tho

I told my parents that I was going to get a part time job and they were super against it! I asked why and they said that it was best that I focused on my grades. I was under a lot of stress (yeah no shit tho) under the time and they said a job would just add to that. They said that they would chip in to pay some of my first semester until everything was sorted out. I was able to pay about 2k of my tuition off (I was literally choosing between groceries, hair products, cleaning supplies etc every week... and when my account balance went below 50 dollars, he threatened to close my account?? Like sir, I don't have a job?), which meant my parents had to pay about 10k.

Now, let's stop for a moment to paint a picture of me during the whole semester-- Wanted to commit demonetization on myself. I had 3 friends (one of which was my twin brother who is in the same situation as me, his friend, and my best friend who happened to go to the same university). I was barely able to focus on anything, I was always late no matter how hard I tried, my memory was the absolute worst, (I think I have ADHD, my cousins and aunts have it and I have a lot of symptoms but y'know I have no cash to get that checked out lol) and had no money. Like my headphones are literally held together by tape. I loved my Architecture classes but literally I had no friends, my class was super friendly to each other but I guess I was too quiet or something. Ugh and I literally didn't have any architecture equipment for the entire first month because I didn't have the 350 dollars to buy it ( omg I remembered how embarrassed I was... ). I ended up not being able to continue my classes because of financial reasons. Money was ALWAYS on my mind. I felt like a total failure.

OK so I was a broke lameazoid weirdo. So what? So it affected my grades. I ended up failing 2 classes (I was taking 8?? apparently that's a lot??). I didn't even wanna go "back home" (home my ass my parents moved the day i finished high school and moved to a whole ass different STATE). But I went anyway. I'm glad I did I enjoyed seeing my family. Especially my mom. Honestly she's mostly innocent, as my dad is pretty...overbearing. When I told my parents they flipped out. I was wasting an opportunity, my family has worked generations for this chance (My moms a first gen Afro-Latina immigrant, and my dad is a Black American), I was a loser etc.

My dad then goes, "you've screwed up and you need to learn from you're mistakes, I'm not going to pay 12k for you to waste my money. I'm not going to help you pay your debt."

HUHHHHH???

I didn't know what to say. More importantly I had no clue what to do. When I got back to my dorm, I got sick with 'Rona. My parents reprimanded me for not finding a job (there's something ironic about that, methinks). So I've been trying to get a job and move into a apartment. Me and my twin brother are trying to move out and find an apartment together but my older sister thinks that's a bad idea. She thinks we should find other roommates so we don't become dependent in each other. I think she has a point but most people aren't looking for roommates right now, so we have to find an apartment together at least for now.

Even though I made them sound really bad (well lowkey I'm angry at my dad), my parents aren't terrible people. They just are lost on how everything works and think that this situation is my fault. They aren't even totally wrong, if I had gotten that job, or if I hadn't gone to college, or if I passed my classes, I probably would've had an easier time. Idk.

I wish my parents signed off on a loan lowkey, at least then I would've been able to continue schools but my parents think that loans are incredibly predatory (they are right but c'mon man, bffr). Nobody else could or would co-sign a loan tho.

Anyway that's the background of my life. I hope this wasn't to boring to read lmao. I think my life will get worse before it gets better, since I think it'll take me a year or so to pay off my debt.  That means I'll be a 20 year old freshman lol. That's gonna be interesting.

Tchau Tchau, Toodle-loo,

Sleepy M