oh.. well this sucks doesn't it?

so ive come to the realization after crying my eyes out that im really not okay, and no matter how much i pretend or how much i say i am, im just not. 

theres just a lot of things people dont know about me and nobody ever gets it.

they dont know that i cry myself to sleep every single night without miss

they dont know that i have sudden anxiety attacks

they dont know i self harm

they know nothing

my reasoning for not being okay isn't simple theres always more to it

its just a lot

and nobody understands it..

nobody understands me

why is it so hard

i want help

i need help

but i never get the help i truly need

none of it matters really

i'll continue on

i'll continue to be sad

i'll continue the lies

and say i'm okay

and say that i'm fine

when its not true

im a terrible liar