Exercise clears the head and relaxes. But after exercising, I do not enjoy how it makes me feel content with doing nothing. Some say exercise increases their productivity. Maybe the reason I feel so brainless and “autopiloted” after exercising is just because my mind is in a state of enhanced focus so I can enjoy entertainment and media without worrying about other stresses. The advent of increasingly advanced AI has definitely caused me to think more inward about how I process things. Everything really is just math.
I believe that my recent lack of artistic or creative passion, for fictional works, is because of my realization of death for the first real time, which just so happened to occur January of this year. Memento Mori, we all die. I think I began questioning my existential bubble when I visited the academy of sciences in California earlier this year. At that point in my life, I was past any belief in Christianity that I was born into, but I had not really done much deeper thinking. Seeing the pre human history exhibit at the museum was a bit of a turning point. Images of neanderthal skulls and such. I really am just a blip of human experience; a stage in evolution, a creature out of my own design. My own thoughts are the result of lots and lots of circumstance.
I think about hands. We have hands, clearly meant for grabbing things. We are expected to see a fruit, be attracted by its vibrant color, and grab it with these hands. To use our fingernails to tear apart the skin of the fruit and to eat it. In the same way, we can see the mountains, and be expected to climb. We can also see the moon. In the same way, I think we can be expected to go there, and to attempt to reach anything within our comprehension, in a way as natural as eating or breathing.
Our brains use logic to survive and stay alive. The ultimate in life, is death. For all beings up to this moment, death has been a constant requirement. It can happen at any time; the visual field that is constantly displayed to you, the line of thought you have been aware of since birth, could end at any moment and you would never know or care. To cease completely.
medical technology and sciences, mechanical inventions.. I am not a believer in religion or fate. But it does, in a way, feel like progress truly is the “purpose” of humanity, in a general and simplistic way. To eventually conquer death, reverse aging, and explore the stars…it feels like the goal.
My ramblings are nothing groundbreaking, and are just thoughts that I felt like jotting down after a run. I don’t think I’m saying anything that hasn’t been said better before, and I’m not even entirely sure I agree with my own words. But it’s nice to write down English words, even if you only believe them for a little while, because it gives you a record of where you were once at mentally. Really, a lot of ideas and cultures are just built around a whole lot of words.
I think that AI is very exciting. Singularity seems possible. I need to eat better, and I need to start caring about money. This is a time in history where I think things might actually matter. I have been beyond negligent of my health and academics. I’m in college, but I sure am not taking the right classes. So many ways to become rich nowadays; braindead SoundCloud rap, start a podcast and talk about nothing, whatever. Here’s what must be done, if I’m even going to live at all…
Maintain and optimize health.
Just basically get enough money so that I will possibly have a chance at accessing groundbreaking life extension technologies.
And pretty much, that’s kind of it. Just need to buy time, and hopefully figure out the rest if I get to be immortal. I could die at any point, there could be a nuclear Armageddon, whatever. Might as well spend my life trying to not die, just in general. Because at the rate I’m going I’m practically swallowing lead every morning.