but why

lately if i write a blog, it's all just me venting

i had a lot more blogs up

but i made them all private 

i dont think i want people to see

how much more vulnerable i can be (rhymes)

how long should i pretend to be happy?

i genuinely thought i would be happy

so why am i not happy

i dont understand

no, i do understand

everything is just getting to my head

maybe what i think isn't actually the case

im just overthinking right?

i dont know

is it okay to pretend to be happy?

but im doing this for everyone elses sake

not mine

when will people realize?

they wont

they wont realize 

im on my own with this one

yeah...

i know what i truly want

but im too scared to ask for it

but why??

i dont know

it should be simple

shouldn't that thing i want actually be the standard?

why am i not getting it

maybe its not my fault?

but would it be wrong to blame others?

i dont know

i never know

i wont ever know

this sucks