[1] trying my best!!

!! First entry

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I have always had trouble socializing ;; I'm basically an NPC, I can talk to people but only when they speak to me first, and I always end up isolating myself at the end :'))

But I got tired of this. Bc I don't believe in miracles, I decided to change the things I don't like about myself once and for all.

This week I started a new job. Usually, when I'm new somewhere, I sit by myself and don't say anything to anyone. But this time, even when I was feeling really anxious about the possibility of being rejected (that would be so humiliating;;;;) I sat beside another person that looked kind, and I talked a bit with them. Turns out they were actually kind!! And we both love tattoos + art!

Then we both talked with basically half of our other new coworkers (all of us are new). This has boosted up my self-esteem and also my motivation to change in order to be who I want to be. It's still baby steps, but it's way better than nothing!

I would have loved to ask for some of my coworkers' instagram, bc I really liked talking to them and I think we may share some interests, but I got scared about seeming too desperate and I couldn't do it :( Rn my goal for this week is to be able to continue holding conversations with at least a few of them, and then maybe next week exchange our instagram @

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