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[Journaling](Day 11) Rise your hammer high!

Holy hell I am having an aneurysm

Anyways! Worst starting day to best ending day.

Got up at 0630 for a class at 0730. Way too early. Student abuse. But then, things took a nice turn, as I realized I had only 2 hours of classes this morning. AND the English class in the afternoon got delayed to a couple days later. Which means, only 2 hours of classes. Great.
Aaaaaaand they were the most grueling ones I have had as of yet. Holy hell I was exhausted, and since I went to sleep at approximately extremely late and a half last night, didn't help me get much sleep.
So, as soon as the classes ended, I ran back home and right into my bed.
I stayed there for a couple hours, in a weird state of closing my eyes for what felt like hours, dreaming of something very weird involving a fancy dinner that moved from a medieval bridge to the top of a train to a place near the town hall of the town I grew in, to my house, all without me realizing it made no sense at all, before waking up... Not even 40 minutes later. Anyways I did fuck-all in bed for like a couple hours before moving to work on this week's practical. And it went poorly. Only a miserable 53% coverage of the unit tests. This is ridiculous, especially when my best pal makes a 90 on her first try.
I really am letting myself go. It's hard not to be good anymore, just... average, you know?

That was the lowest point of my afternoon. I was unable to think, breathe, to do anything, I just felt terrible. Awful. The cracks are widening.

Then came around 1800, and I took a quick shower, before leaving at 1845 for the one highlight of the day, probably the week.

I went to a Hammerfall concert. And it was amazing. I put on my best clothes, a fishnet top, skull shirt, and choker, I redid my nails, added chains to my belt everywhere, and wore my fancy pair of boots, put on a couple of power bracelets my friend gave me (<3 thanks again). I was the perfect punk, I just missed the eyeliner. One day I'll get to it. But I really felt like I was caring about myself for once.

And I spent 2 hours headbanging, basically.
I had a huge blast.
Now I did forget to protect my ears so I lost hearing, and I screamed all the while so I lost my voice, but I had such a good time I'll do it again any day.

Before, I think, the 3rd to last song, the lead singer, Joacim Cans, made a small speech. He told us, "You only got one life. Tomorrow, you can get hit by a train, and die. You only get one life, and it's up to you to choose how to live it. However, you don't die once, you die twice. Once when you exhale your last breath and the second time when your name is said one last time.". I think it deeply resonated with me and my fear of being forgotten. I wish to never die like that.
And then he carried on with singing like he was possessed by the spirit of music and I had an amazing time.
And then the lead guitarist, Oscar Dronjak,, took his already revealing vest off.
He's a bit old for me, but, and I tell ya, he's hot.
Metal band players are hot 70% of the time and he was no exception. It was great.
I had one of the best evenings ever and it's probably one of the best concerts I've been to. I was really not doing well before going, hell I was almost ready to work with a box cutter, but this just put me back on my feet.

And then I tried to go back home.
Using public transportation.
During a general strike.
Noy my smartest move.

Anyways I walked back home. Was a bit long.

Today brought me pain and pleasure, sadness and joy, polar opposites. But both were verily worth it.

It is tired but happy that I end this post. Also on gedit. Cause spacehey just blew up while I was typing. Like literal blowing up. It just fried.

Tomorrow will be long. I'll try and survive.

Goodnight, lone reader. Enjoy a spacehey-less night.

Where do we go?
Where do we go?
Were just a heartbeat away
Follow the signs of the Crimson Thunder
We will stay by your side
Let our voices be there to guide you - Crimson Thunder, Hammerfall

Laporte, signing off. I'll see you again.

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