i t a l l f a l l s d o w n

I’m at the point of I feel like there’s never going to be a productive job for me, I need to be on my meds to function in this system, I end up with momentary joy surrounded by depression, anxiety and shame. Constantly feeling like I’m on the edge of failure or even being fired. 

I finish work then just feel completely drained, just afraid that I’m going to fuck up at some point, putting up a fake persona for work that drains me beyond being. I’m honestly designed to be a person of leisure, not working and just vibing