January 30th 2023

Today could have been better, but it could have been a lot worse.  

Today was Monday which meant going back to work.  If it hasn't been made apparent already, I hate my job.  For the past month I've been applying to other places with no luck.  

Anyways, today was a slow day.  Slow days are usually my favorite kind of days.  The only things I can remember doing today were,

• removing broken microwaves
• replacing torn blinds
• cleaning cameras
• getting ceiling tiles out of the connex
• running errands for my supervisor
• and fixing locks

Since today was such a slow day that meant I had enough energy when I got home to clean my room a bit more.  I've cleaned up around my vanity and put more clothes away.  Now I can actually sleep in my bed!  My lover came over, sat down in my vanity chair and talked to me while I cleaned.  I asked him to as, for some reason, someone sitting and just talking to me while I work makes it seem like I'm not working.

After a few hours I got tired, we went out to the living room for a break.  For some reason my parents thought that then would be the perfect time to talk to me about my job search.  My dream job is to be a singer.  I know that that job is pretty much unachievable for me so my second dream job is to be an art teacher.

I have talked to my mother about going back to school for teaching before.  She told me that with the children today she'd be more scared for me as a teacher than she would for me if I worked at a prison.  Yet, she has still given me advice on different schools and different ways to achieve my degree.  

Tonight was the first time I brought it up with my father.  I've been hesitant to tell my father about what I actually want to do with my life since he helped me get the job I have now.  I didn't want him to think that I didn't appreciate him putting his name on the line for me or that I was slandering his name.  He believes that I should stay where I am for at least two years.  That would mean working where I am for at least another year and five months.  

He doesn't want to stop me from achieving my dream of being a teacher but, as he put it, he doesn't want me to shoot myself in the foot trying to achieve it.  

Basically, he doesn't want me to leave my current job and try to go to school when my current job is giving me nearly forty thousand a year, retirement, insurance, paid time off, sick leave, and maternity leave.  He said that I should also take the classes that the company pays for me to take as credits are credits.  I can see where he's coming from, and I think I can push through another seventeen months where I am if it means achieving my goals.

This weekend my mother is going to help me fill out the FAFSA and apply for fall night courses to knock out my general studies.  I'm excited and nervous about following my dream.  I hope everything somehow falls into place in the end.