hypocrite.

Of course i was hard on you
Ive put lives in jeopardy myself

when i lived offa lebanon i let someone i used to know into the house
i didnt realize what was gonna happen
we were 9 deep i was one of three people in the whole damn house paying any rent
p** and c**** are severely disabled.
t*** and his brother and his brother girl are too much in the streets to have any damn sense.
joe's a fucking terrorist. and brad can die by fire. and k** wasnt a great person. and neither the fuck was c*****
and when my therapist says he mighta still died if i didnt let his ass in the house
what am i supposed to fucking feel?

like this guilt isnt mine and mine alone
like the lack of it being "my fault" makes any fucking difference now. 
she says he coulda died in the streets anyway all i hear is 
"were all gonna die then"

they moved to california together in a van where he was stabbed some-odd double digit number of fucking times and his body left in the river. 

they put his deadname in every paper. 

he never called but i still have his weed grinder.

of course i was hard on you. 
i dont wanna see anymore dead trans men
im a hypocrite.