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Saying I Love You is easy.

Although you said it with wholeheartedly and honest, at the and of the day it's only words that come out from your mouth and how you feel CURRENTLY, when you said It, do you know the future? do you know how your "love" gonna be? 

Based on my experience, I never truly love someone and the love last till this day, if it didn't turn into a resentment it just turn into a complete void, I left several person because of my naivety, thinking the love I feel today is gonna rest in me forever, Never ever thought about changes, No matter how long you've been in love with, it'll pass.

Now I am seeking for love that stays, that will rest in me eternally, or it just simply don't exist, all of that is just an illusion of wanting to be love, I never wanted any love or want to feel loved, cause I never really know how it feels.

I'm open to accept someone who wanna love me, but bear it you won't get what you expect, it's very selfish of me so definitely there won't be any, though there's people obsessing over me I'm pretty confused how to deal with it since it's usually me who's obsessing over another person.

"I believe that marriage isn't between a man and woman, but between love and love" -Frank Ocean - We All Try, but does the love exist? or is it just a chemicals in our brain? is it a supernatural things? What is it? can anyone explain me what is Love in general?

My guess is the answer lies in the future (it sounds very cliche), so now I'm just a vessel trying to figure out what I am made for, what I enjoy, what I am not? is it or am I just trying to sound cool? or like Awwww yOu'Re sO NihILIsM. 

well if anyone read it actually thank you so much<3