poetry by xander 3

nicotine coping

the thing I once was afraid of

I now understand 

in the cold freezing air 

a stick of warmth between my rough fingers 

I inhale its harsh chemicals 

until I feel the hazy world become slower

watching the burning grow closer 

the ashes fall from my sight 

mixing into the dust of this porch

the moon lighting up the breeze

cold air thickening on my face until numb

one more cigarette could never harm me

it could never harm me the same as others 

I feel it's warm smoke fill me

until I can wrap myself in it

buzzing my way back into the house 

ready to handle the problematic

the things that have brought me to cope this way