Feelings

I have a lot of thoughts, so here nosey ass nigha read…

Relationships

As a calm cool and kind nigha idk wtf to do with myself anymore prolly not the way you thinking tho. My brain gets so cluttered with my daily troubles of life, and most of it has come down to me just letting shit slide, truma stopping me from making action and honestly ppl see a opportunity for manipulation. So when u break your patterns n finnaly stop allowing your self to get bitched, some people will see it as you changed. My main emotion truma is a word I can’t think of but I’ll give a summary. I hate everyone but when I find someone I like I wanna be around them often because I hate people, once I have love for u, now I’m scared. When I decide someone is someone I wanna plan ahead for in life to make them apart of my team/life, I think abt who was in there position last n how much they hated me or never fwm n I would never catch on it would just happen. I don’t want anyone else to leave me I had a lot of ppl I had love for more ppl den they even know but almost everyone’s gone.

Whatever I do to everyone that pushes them away hif it’s really my fault even tho ik it ain’t I’m sorry

Advantage 

I have been in a bad situation for a long time and naturally ppl feel bad for me and wanna help. It rlly sucks because I never wanna be a burden to anyone cuz to these circumstances I am already so yk. Everyone tells me to take advantage of my situations my family my friends. Nobody wants to do that all the time weather they voice it or not man. I try to take as least as possible I rlly do but if I take I crumb I’m doing tm. The fact that I do as much as I can for ppl n never remind them abt it prolly does help,but if I tried to do sum for that was fr my heart cuz most times if I went out the blue n do sum for u even something small I have nothing so that a lot from me. I rlly wanted to do it for u because they had my back simple. Nobody’s that thurl, everyone lives for advantage in my head, but for material advantage only never needing a certain feeling from humans, just keeping around so it’s better for yourself… scum shit.

That’s enough for now if you agree wit anything I said talk to me, Idky but just gon head lmao