Day 8 1/27/23

Its been so long and i dont even want to get into details about anything but i do wanna say a couple things. I am in love, I am happi in my relationship, everything is so easy and perfect with him its scary in a way, but i am crashing, he is crashing, and it doesnt seem like things are gonna get any easier, im hoping moving fixes all of our problems but it probably wont, and that scares me, that terrifies me, because i know we both deserve happiness, together, im just scared hes not gonna be able to last that long, im scared that hes gonna leave me, but not in that way, i know his brain is extremely difficult and mean with him and i know its out of his control sometimes, i just want him to win, always, not his mind, because if it takes him away from me i wouldnt know what to do or how to live, there's no way i would be able to continue in any shape way or form. I wish i could take all his problems away from him, anything that makes his life hard, i want to be there for him always and i hope that i am, i hope he knows he can come to me for anything and everything, and i just wanted to say sorry as well, for not being so open with you, youre my person and i should be able to tell you everything, i just worry that im laying out all my problems onto you and that its doing more damage to you mentally because i know youre not in a good place right now. i dont know, our situation is fucky, just know that i truly do love you, more than you understand my love, and i would like to apologize if i ever made you doubt that, if i ever affected you in any negative ways, if i ever broke your trust, just know my feelings for you never changed, if anything they grow stronger and stronger every fucking day, i know we will be okay, we just have to trust each other, so much, because if we can't keep ourselves in check just know the other will be there, im never leaving you, ever youre stuck with me for life and beyond. We were made for echother and we both know that, for a fact. I'm glad its you, I wouldnt want it to be anyone else, you're so perfect for me, forever and always, just you and I(and kitty, and our little family if it does grow 0.0)