The Will of the Letter

This selfsame experience becomes so taxing, Its ceaseless attempts to rot my throbbing and thriving nature, this reality thwarts my every pursuit to my own sanctuary. It is not only the pain of loss that I have to endure but also the incessant worry over how I shall make it up with my loved one again when we meet next time; for there are no more meetings in our present world. The agony of separation from him is too much for me to bear, and I am driven by an irresistible impulse to seek out some other consolation, if only for a short while. Once I bore witness to his aspect all fell into place, his mindset, his intentions. Could I blame him? By all means, I could. But I didn't wish to; I didn't wish to succumb to the knowledge that everything that happened before, has begun again.