Motivation

I just want motivation to continue writing my book, but this semester there is no motivation for anything, and I feel useless and like I can't do anything. I don't want to quit writing, but maybe it would be better to do it over the summer. I just want to finish the book this year! It really has been hard also since my alcoholism has gotten worse. Focus has been an issue but I believe in myself, I just need to plan it out more and pace myself a little. It is a mentally draining book too. learning history, slang from the 1800s and british slang, and traditions is a lot and writing about serial killers and their minds is a lot. I just need the courage to get up and be as passionate I was about it last semester. this is literally my JOB. I need to finish it. I really do.

I don't have the imagination I had when I was younger when I first got the idea for the book, but I can still try. it is a brilliant idea no doubt, but also I'm afraid that when I publish the book and advertise it, no one will read it and it won't be a hit like I wish it to be. I have other books I'm writing on the side but this book and another one im writing about asylums in the 1920s is the huge ones that matter to me. I just am a perfectionist and want them to be the best books I have ever written. 

I compare myself to other authors too much too, especially Stephen King. He was one of my inspirations to start writing, along with Agatha Christie. They are my heros really. I just want to be as big as them but I know I wont... and it kind of makes me sad.