Consensual Brain-Damage

To continue with your "entertainment" please tick this box,

Tick this box if you consent to us consuming your soul into this glowing block weighing down your hands,

Once we consume your soul we will use it to personally target our carefully chosen ads at you,

This is our attempt to give you just the right amount of brain damage so you still know how to use this application, but also enough to control your beliefs, opinions, faith, personalities...

Well, pretty much everything about you!

But do not worry,

We do not wish to cause harm in doing this,

Its just so we can continue feeding you 5 second clips of "Family Guy" gags,

Is that too long?

Our sincerest apologies!

Here's a video of a man on minimum wage carving a block of wood as you simultaneously consume our family-friendly entertainment, 

You see? Isn't this more important than the real world?

Sure Ukrainians still live in fear each day of Russian attacks,

And women in Afghanistan and Iran are being slaughtered for simply requesting their human rights,

But shhhh, don't talk to loud!

You never know if we'll feel like trading your soul with a dictative government today in return for money,

So our rich, caricature-like men in suits can laugh while clumsily spilling champagne all over their super computers with the money YOU gave them when you payed for Twitter Blue,

But at least you can consume our meticulously censored content an eighth of a second faster now,

So please, tick this box if you consent to our family-friendly-soul-consuming-brainwashing-entertainment, 

Or continue to live a life of bliss, love and laughter,

The choice is all up to you.