What happened

I just don't understand why this keep happening... My husband is sick and no matter what I do it just don't seem like it's enough for him just like last night I was making my son a bottle for bed and my husband comes in the kitchen and says "I'm going to go to my mom's room so she can rub my back."Why go there when I'm right here I don't get it, he told me he would come back and sleep but yet again it's like I do t matter... I stayed up waiting for him to come back but nothing. Am I supposed to be ok with this or just let it fall of I just don't get it. What am I doing so wrong he do t want me around him... He won't even touch me much less hold my hand. Am I asking for a lot from him is that to much to want? So now I'm doing what he asked to leave him alone.... How is that different from now or then? I guess it's just that time to build up my walls around my heart just so it don't hurt me. 🤷