Entry #2: 01/24/23

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I promise I won't do this every day! But since it's Tuesday, I might as well be on schedule. I don't really feel like going through my day chronologically today, so here are a few ruminations:

My quasi-crush. There's this guy in my stats class who I think is kinda cool. He's extremely smart and quick-witted and we share some minute similarities. He wears his watch on his left wrist just like me, he knows what Esperanto is...and well, I think I just realized why my attraction is such a stretch (evidence-wise). I don't know, something just pulls me to him. All of this is fabricated. I don't know if I actually like him, even as a friend (which is what I think I feel?). You see, he's just friendly, that's it. People appear so unapproachable nowadays that most would mistake a person looking you in the eyes and listening to be a friend or even a love interest. It will be hard to get rid of these feelings, but I know they can go away because they weren't here before! Thanks so much, R, for allowing me to learn this through your minute actions. Your behaviors are appreciated. :)

Getting "old". Even though I've only been on this website for a couple of days, I've begun to notice some things. I've come across a lot of accounts that are owned by thirteen-year-olds, and users that are in middle school. It's just so weird to me! I know I'm almost eighteen, but that's the point! It's been nearly half a decade since I turned thirteen. Yikes! I just feel so different. (Yes, I know there are people my age and above on this website, don't need to mention it.) I guess I'm just maturing (and realizing).

Post-college app breakdown. UGH! I'm so tired of the college application process! I may be done with apps, but now I have to worry about scholarships and get down on my knees for money. Unfortunately, my confidence and self-esteem aren't very high, so I don't really know how to argue that I should have scholarship money. If it were possible (and didn't cost me so much in loans), I would request that aid money be given to others. But I can't just do that! I am not sure I would want college to be free, but I do wish it were less expensive. Damn you, fearful leaders!

Okay, I think I got everything I needed out of my system. Once again, it's almost time for bed. Night blogging is my favorite.

Ĝis morgaŭ,

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