thinking 2 myself outloud

it feels like life always resets in november. like, its just a month to chill out before the holidays and everything breaks loose yk? the calm b4 the storm (of christmas shoppers and new years lol). speaking of new years its literally going to be jan in a little over a month or 2?? like wasnt it june last week?? this year has been rly rly strange to me .. beginning of the year is the absolute worst my mental health ever was but this year has been one of the funnest for me as well. an absolutely miserable yet strangely enjoyable- almost nostalgic- time period. still dk wtf im gonna do with my life but i have more of an idea now than i ever have in the last 6 years and i guess thats pretty comforting .. for the time being of course. im not confident in myself or especially the future itself but maybe i will make it to 21. just maybe.