01/23/23

HELLO AND WELCOME TO MY BLOG!! I'M GOING TO TRY AND WRITE AN ENTRY A DAY FOR AT LEAST 10 MINUTES. THIS IS GOING TO BE A BIT OF A MENTAL EXERCISE FOR ME AND FOR YOU.. A LOOK INTO MY LIFE!! AND MAYBE SOMETHING TO LOOK BACK ON IN THE FUTURE. A LIL TIME CAPSULE. I'LL ALSO GIVE MUSIC RECS EVERY DAY IN THE "SONG OF TEH DAY" CATEGORY! THE SONG MAY OR MAY NOT BE RELATED TO THE ENTRY.. BUT IT'LL ALWAYS BE MUSIC I LIKE HEH.

TODAY MARKS MY FIRST THERAPY SESSION WITH MY NEW THERAPIST. IT'S AN ONLINE MEETING AT 4PM SO AT LEAST I DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT LEAVING THE HOUSE. TALKING ABOUT LEAVING THE HOUSE.. MY GRANDMOM WENT ON A CRUISE FOR A WEEK SO I'M BASICALLY HOME ALONE (EXCEPT FOR WHEN MY GRANDPOP COMES HOME FROM WORK AND WHEN I GO TO MY OTHER GRANDMOTHER'S FOR THE WEEKEND). MY BESTIE SHADOW IS GOING TO PICK ME UP TO DRIVE ME TO COLLEGE ON TUESDAYS AND THURSDAYS SO THAT'S PRETTY SWAG AS WELL! THAT'S ALSO ANOTHER WHOLE CAN OF WORMS I'LL HAVE TO GO OVER LATER. BUT!! THERAPY!

I'M.. KINDA SCARED TO START UP THERAPY AGAIN. I'VE MADE A NEW YEARS RESOLUTION TO BE 100% OPEN WITH MY THERAPIST ABOUT MY ISSUES. THAT'S WHY I EVEN REQUESTED TO GET A NEW ONE. WHILE I'M AN HONEST PERSON... BEING HONEST IN THE MENTAL HEALTH FIELD IS SO HARD. I OFTEN TRY TO HIDE MY ISSUES SO I'M NOT VIEWED AS A BAD PERSON.. SINCE I HAVE SO MANY FUCKED UP THOUGHTS IN THIS LIL HEAD OF MINE. REPRESSING AND HIDING THAT SHIT DOESN'T HELP THOUGH AND JUST MAKES LIFE WORSE AHA /nav. I THINK I MIGHT TALK ABOUT THE OBVIOUS ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM THAT I WAS HIDING FROM MY PREVIOUS THERAPISTS (SYSTEM THINGZZZZ).

TALKING ABOUT BEING SCARED... RIDING IN MY BESTIE'S CAR TO COLLEGE. I'M TAKEN BUT I ALSO GET CRUSHES SOMETIMES (RARELY BECAUSE GRAYARO MOMENT) (WE'RE MONO BUT WE'RE OKAY WITH TALKING ABOUT RANDOM CRUSHES). SADLY.. THIS GUY, SHADOW, I HAVE HAD THE BIGGEST CRUSH ON SINCE FRESHMAN YEAR LOL. SO.. I'LL BE STUCK IN A CUTE GUY'S CAR FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES. AND.. HE KNOWS BECAUSE I TALKED ABOUT IT ON A DISCORD SERVER WE BOTH SHARE. SO. THAT'S GOING TO BE AWKWARD IF HE DECIDES TO TALK TO ME ABOUT IT.

10 MINUTE TIMER IS UP!! BUT.. I FEEL LIKE I LET OUT SOME GOOD INFORMATION! I'LL MAKE SURE TO UPDATE YALL TOMORROW ON HOW THERAPY WENT!! HAVE A GOOD DAY :3