When You're Ready to Tell the Truth (personal)

I finally sent an email to my grandparents for the first time in 2 years.

Two years of agonizing over the idea of telling them the truth about me, my situation, my mental health, and my place in life, when I have been pressured to hide it all for 15+ years. I couldn't stand giving them the truth about their kid turning out to be a disgusting, creepy, controlling, racist person who hurt me beyond any chance to forgive him. Or that I wasn't the put-together person I pretended to be, because behind "good grades" was being told I'd be loved by my father if I had at least all A's and staying up till 5am crying over why I couldn't just focus, focus, focus! (I had really bad undiagnosed adhd, turns out.)

I was too afraid to contact them for 2 years because I was afraid they'd practically collapse if I told them the truth. That side of my family likes to pretend everything is okay, and I know the clashing of my mom's side's stubborn bluntness is always a LOT for families like those. But I know its important to me for them to know the truth if I'm going to have a genuine relationship with them again. I just hope they'll return that honesty.