I haven't really been eating, and I feel like it is normal now. I have done this before, and I keep coming back to it. It's just who I am at this point. I am ready to just let it take control. I have fought against it for so long, but I need to look better. Hating myself, I guess, is just who I am. No one has to know except you guys. And don't try to help or change my mind. It won't be worth it.