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Category: Friends

1/21/23 Just dailies and a little vent

Hi guys and welcome back to my epic blog (insert sunglasses emoji)

Ok lets be serious now today I did nothing really notable except I renovated my home screen to be vocaloid themed (not done yet) It used to be Omori themed and honestly I liked that one better than this current one (Not much resources when it comes to any vocaloid that sent Miku or the Kagamines mainly Miku thought like I wanted to do a Vflower and Gumi page and a Kafu page but there’s no nendriods for anyone outside the cryptonloids except gumi and I think I seen one for gakupo anyways) its too late though because I already deleted the Omori one :((((

I also made an OC today. Her name is Cherri and she’s kinda just like my vent outlet (has all the same mental illnesses and trauma as me ahaha except she has a happy ending, an enemies to lovers arc, good grades and friends (even if she doesn’t like many of them). She doesn’t have a precise design yet but I’m working on it. At first I thought I was gonna make her like yandere trope (because I read I love Amy and am obsessed with dere types again. 2016 me here I come) but then I ended up projecting hard and now she’s sad like me. Im working on making her gf but have no idea what to do with her. Once I get everything sorted out with them Ill probably post about it (because they’ll probably consume my life) talking about that lets vent

So I’ve been gong crazy these past few months debating whether my friends like me or nor (actually for the past few years ahah) and idk they always seem to have so much fun without me and I usually feel left out but at the same time I distance myself so like is it just my imagination going rampant? Am I at blame for feeling like this? Anyways I feel like nobody ever cares about my interest which is again, kinda really my fault (no my social anxiety’s fault yeah mhm) I just never know how to talk to people (even my friends and family) but I feel like whenever I talk about my interests everyone is like annoyed of me ahh idk and whenever anyone speaks I feel like everyone else listens but not when it comes to me I think I may b overreacting tho. Also all my friends always share secrets with each other but I feel like I haven’t been told a secret since like 3rd grade and my friends have other friends and extended friend groups but all I have is 3 friends in school and one that moved and we dont talk that much and that is once again my social anxiety (aka my) fault because Im 2 scared 2 reach out first hhhhh i hate socializing 

So I always feel like I’m annoying all my friends by just existing haha ahjhhhhhhh and I’m leaving my school this year (going to high school oh god I’m so scared)(well hopefully gong to high school if I pass promotion and doubt aha)(depression adhd and anxiety is a bitch 4 my social and educational life) but what am I supposed to do in high school? All my friends just came to me and bought along other friends but I’m gonna be alone!!!!!!!11!!!!1???/????? ON MY OWN!!!!! TO MAKE FRIENDS???!!??!?!?! BY MYSELF!!!?????!! Im gonna get eaten alive in high school and allegedly ppl r rlly mean in high school and I’m gonna admit I’m such bully bait and would probably fulfill a death wish if enough ppl told me so like idk am i gonna die???? Im so stressed!!! And results for the Shsat r coming in march (alr know I failed lmaooo) and just the high school application results in general (manifesting I get into my #1 school) well I’m gonna dip 4 now so remember to do drugs and make bad choices (but dont really ok) BYEEEEE-AAAAA

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