First Blog

Firstly, I apologize for the random double spaces. and periods. like that. My laptops space bar is all fucked up.  Im too lazy to fix it, and i also think it makes thisshit unique

Im graduating college with a bachelors degree in May.  I'm. not really scared for. the future, Im  a chill guy,  and know that. everything will always be. okay. Despite. this, Im always. worrying so god. damn much. This last. semester,  Im. getting my. shit together. I quit. nicotine (I've been vaping. since 16, im. now 21) well, quit is also a. weird way to put it, its. been 2 days. The withdrawals might be over but its hard to tell. Anyways, I am also working out now. I am just. really trying to have good mental health, and if it doenst work, I will go on pills for anxiety and/or depression. 

I. havent thought. about it in a while, but I. think as pills for mental health as a. tool to aid you in the seemingly never ending fight.  But in my. eyes, I have friends who take the pills, and then just live lives that are seemingly bad and would. negatively affect their mental health. But, I think ofthese things as if. im in. their shoes, but... im not,  and I could just be. a judgmental asshole. Im not sure. 

Anyways, I feel incredibly. alone. I feel. as. though I do not have. any friends (true friends that. is), and I am always trying. to come up with solutions. Im majoring. in microbiology. and have a scientific brain (sounds dumb as fuck to say) but I always try. and pin. things on one thing, but its. never just one thing, its always many variables. And so, I can never figure it out

I. always. feel so much less alone, and. normal when I hear about someone else. going. through something I can relate to, so, if you read this whole thing, I. hope. you are. doing okay,  and I wish you the best.

Best wishes,

Benjamin