My Update for January 2023

Hi, this is me for 2023. I have changed my hairstyle since 30 December, 2022. I'm still thinking what I want to do further. You know, I don't know what to do now since I don't continue my college at Sam Ratulangi University. One of the main reasons is because the lecture process is still online (except for semester 4, 6 and 8) and also because I don't have money to pay my college tuition, it's IDR 3,000,000.

Currently I don't have any job I just staying alive. I haven't made ID card yet (my mother told me that we'll we make my ID card together later and I'm tired of waiting) and my mother hasn't taken my high school diploma (she still has a debt to my high school, my tuition fee, IDR 500,000 which she has not paid yet).

Actually I have no plan for 2023. What's matter for me is that I'm still alive. I'm just still on my old plan from last year: leave this fucking city and the this province too, leave my family and go so far I can, stay survive in a new place and looking for a job out there. 

How is my relationship with my family now? It's pretty unclear actually for me because I want to leave them but because I'm still here so I'm just taking advantage from my mother. I'm still very dependent on her for my life actually, my food, my cleanliness and my internet credit. What am I doing at her house? Just washing dishes and cooking rice. Sometimes I have done it but she still doesn't appreciate it.

My mother's relationship with my grandmother is very not good. Actually this is an old problem in my family, my mother has hated my grandmother since she was little but things have really gotten worse since my grandfather passed away on 25 March, 2022. Sometimes there are incidents that make my mother and grandmother in trouble, I actually don't really care about it, it's not my business.

Now I still live in my boarding house in Ranomuut Sub-district, Paal Dua District. This is my grandma's business. Actually I'm very grateful to be able to live here for free and far enough but not too far from my mother, I have privacy here and I still commute from here to home every day to get food, still the same since December 2021. I won't live here forever, this is just temporary.

I know that I can be better out there, I hope this is just the matter of time. What I'm doing now is survival, that's what I'm doing now. You know, I haven't received monthly money from my mother, the last time my mother gave it was November 2022. My money now is IDR 105.000 or $6,93 dollars (20/01/2023's rate).

~ Sofia the Dancing Star (20/01/2023)

These photos were taken on Friday, 20 January, 2023 with Samsung Galaxy A10s.