fairytale love

I was six years old when I saw my first shooting star. My wish was to be a princess.

Being your typical little girl I adored stories containing princesses. I wanted to be just like them. A angelic maiden wearing the softest silk gowns, running barefoot through a garden and singing with a voice to match my beauty. A prince would come to save me from whatever evil might force its way into my life. He'll rescue me and away to his castle we'll go. As I aged I knew it wasn't possible to marry a prince but I still believed I'd find true love one day. There would be a huge wedding and I'd be the perfect bride with the most amazing dress and loving partner. 

As a young teenager I assumed my love life would be fleeting. I'd end up settling down in my small hometown with some guy I knew from school. I'd have a few kids that I love dearly, but my love for some man would dwindle over the years. Perhaps it'd even fade out sooner in the same fashion as my parents. We'd get a divorce and I'd most likely keep custody of my children. That was the life I thought I'd live. I had already assumed at fourteen I'd be a divorced woman, struggling to make ends meet for my children like my mother. Maybe I'd find another partner like she did and who knows where my life would go from there.

As my relationship worsened with my mother, reaching the peak of our disdain for each other, I didn't think I'd grow up to marry some man and have children. I wanted to die. I felt like a failure of a daughter, of a sister, of a person. I didn't deserve to live. I shouldn't be breathing. I would never amount to anything. Even after I left home I was still miserable. Nightmares of being screamed at by my mother and her family. Feelings of emptiness and suicide. Sure I had my two friends but they had their own lives to live. They'd have each other and wouldn't need me. No one needs me. Then I met you.

You changed my perspective of life. I never thought a happy ending was possible for me. I didn't think I was worthy of genuine love and happiness. It would be wasted on me. Yet you still loved me. After seeing all of my flaws you remained. Sure we had that one fight but we still came back to each other. We grew and I realized that I finally had something good. Something I could call mine and mine alone. I finally began to see the light at the end of this dark and dank tunnel. I still haven't quite reached it but I've grown a lot closer to it with your company. You remained by my side even after my fits and breakdowns. You knew I was just severely bent, not broken. 

To this day and until my last breath I will always see you as my savior; my knight in shining armor. You rescued me from a rundown castle, sweeping me away to our happy ending. Our lives aren't perfect from where we currently are but that doesn't concern me. We're still young, still learning how to be adults while finding time to have fun on the side. I know one day we'll make our own home and reach our fairytale ending. Till then I will continue to worship and love you, forever grateful that you saved me from a long nightmare. This might sound like the delusional ramblings of a girl who watched too many princess movies, but this is how I truly feel. I don't care if even you think I'm exaggerating. You are my white knight and I always feel like a real princess around you.

"Cause you're my religion, you're how I'm living"- Lana Del Rey