how it feels to work in food service

disclaimer- this is entirely made up. but, it also probably happened to someone somewhere at some point. you have been warned.

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me: "hello, welcome to mcburgertown. can i take your order?"

customer: "yeah, uhhh... i'll have a cheeseburger with no cheese, a large order of fries, and a large diet coke please."

me: "okay so that's one hamburger, a large..."

customer: "nonono... i said a cheeseburger, but with no cheese."

me: pauses for a bit "hold on, let me process what you just said... you asked for a cheeseburger. but with no cheese."

customer: "yeah."

me: "that's a hamburger."

customer: "bro you don't understand, what i want is for you to make the cheeseburger like you normally do, then take off the cheese at the last second. it's actually valid, trust me on that bro..."

me: "sorry, but i'm pretty sure i'm not allowed to do that, it's against company policy. if you really don't want cheese you could always just get the hamburger, it's cheaper and already comes without cheese. and then just ask for a packet of cheez whiz spread."

customer: "is there a manager i can speak to or something?"

me: the audacity of this person "sure, let me go get them."

walks over to the manager's area

me: "hey [name censored for privacy], we got a karen on line 2."

manager: "sigh... what is it this time?"

me: "they keep asking for a cheeseburger with no cheese. i offered them a hamburger because its exactly like what they're asking for, but they won't budge."

manager: "okay, let me go handle it."

back at the register area now

manager: "hello, i am the manager. is there a problem?"

customer: "yeah, i asked for a cheeseburger with no cheese, but your employee here keeps saying i ordered something different."

manager: "well, respectfully, you seem to be asking for the hamburger, which is the same thing. And it's much cheaper."

customer: "but i actually wanted the normal cheeseburger, but with the cheese taken off at the last second."

manager: "well why didn't you say so? unfortunately, we can't do that because it's against company policy. but, i can offer you a cheez whiz burger with light spread. and i'll throw in a free cinnamon bun."

me: nice quick thinking there, boss.

customer: "sure, i guess i'll take it."

manager rings up customer, then order goes to the kitchen. manager pulls me aside. the following conversation happens-

me: "thanks for the help."

manager: "don't sweat it. it's the same guy that comes in here periodically and always pulls some ridiculous stunt. next time someone does something like this, just say you're the manager. or just refuse to serve them if they get too persistent."

me: "sure thing, boss."

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fin.