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Dear Alley,
I've been watching you. All these years it's like a multi-season show full of episodes with the good, bad, embarrassing, and humor. I've also seen you lost, like you've put on a pair of shades in a dark room and can't see what path you need to be on. You've turned down your flame that used to light the room up when you walked in.
I've seen you get hurt, jealous, taken advantage of, love hard, forgive, grieved, taught lessons, struggled, and survived. And you are a lot stronger and smarter than you show to the world. Stop holding it. Stop concealing your energetic soul to this deprived world that needs it. You can be an inspiration if you stepped another foot outside of your secluded circle. You have overcome addictions that many lose their lives to, and that's bold coming from one who was supplying the poison. You hold guilt and regrets that you need to forgive yourself for, and when you do.. overall they will all be forgotten. You feel astray from your family because they don't talk to you as much these days, and you know its your fault. You're hurt because you don't know how to fix it, and thats okay. You have 3 children that need you, love you, and want to be with you. I see you busting ass every day to fix your situation, and everyday there seems to be 3 more problems that slide onto your plate.
Those you love too much have passed judgements and have spoken ill in your name. It leaves you to question every aspect of love in family, friendships, and courtships. As much as it hurts, I still see you waking up in the morning and back onto making your life better. You still drive yourself to be stronger. Those who don't reciprocate the same level of respect and love you do, you don't need them. You don't deserve to be hidden as a friend by comments being deleted, or never invited out, or thought of, or given a quick phone call. You do need to focus on those who do invite you to movies, card games, Saturday afternoon DnD raid sessions, team games and chats.. they are the ones who give a fuck about you, Alley.
I know you feel that there isn't anyone for you, and there probably isn't. That's not going to be a bad thing, it's a blessing in disguise. You don't see it yet, because you're overwhelmed with life. It just means you're too spectacular of a specimen to match with anyone. There has been only 2 men in your life that never made you question the love they have for you, and both are still here. Your father and your kids father have always shown you the open love and care. The reason I say this is because I know you still hug your pillow and cry at night over your most recent relationships because you were the one who loved, and loved hard. Standing outside of it all, you will eventually learn that he never and cannot love you the way you deserve. He broke you. Your grip on the pillowcase will eventually loosen and end it with drying your tears. No reason to still keep weeping over someone who lies about you, to you, and makes up scenarios and stories for his benefit. Fuck that. You shine way beyond what he will ever have in life from here forward. And you know this already.
One thing they don't know is one of the most unique experiences in life is dating a woman who doesn't filter or mince words. A woman who says it as it is, like you. And if they're lucky to have such a lover, it will be one of the best relationships because you'll help make them become a better person. When a woman doesn't filter what she has to say doesn't mean you are rude or overly opinionated. But it means your confident enough in her feelings, opinions, and thoughts, and you're not scared of sharing them with other people. You keeps it real.
You're a girl living a filter-free life, has a sense of humor, and you'll always keep them entertained.
Keep your chin up, baby girl.
This isn't the end, and this isn't a beginning.
I promise.
<3 Always,
Alley
You're a girl living a filter-free life, has a sense of humor, and you'll always keep them entertained.
Keep your chin up, baby girl.
This isn't the end, and this isn't a beginning.
I promise.
<3 Always,
Alley
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