Work Life Balance and the chaos of my current employment.

Hi All, Catstiel here.

I am sorry it has been so long since my last post, I have been making a lot of progress in the human world.

TLDR: A lot of what I have been doing in the last 12 months. TAFE, Friendships, Work, Mental Health.

I have been working since finishing my TAFE course.

After completing my TAFE course I realized I do not like being around kids, they are noisy and strange beings, which is great, except I wish I knew this before starting my TAFE course which revolved around young people...

While I don't mind working with adolescents/anyone over the age of like 10, those younger ones tend to drive me insane. I can't handle them, their lack of things that come with age like ethics, time management skills, personal space, and a blatant misunderstanding of “Hey, please don’t touch that” before the item falls to the ground and shatters into pieces just breaks me. I also hate that I so desperately want to still be a kid and that I am a child at heart. It’s harder more so when my entire family thinks I am childish due to my interests in video games and collecting pokemon plush toys, or when I try to explain that, unlike their understandings, I am quite capable of enjoying my passions and working my first job.

When I was younger I did not socialize all that much with other kids. I enjoyed my personal space and still cherish that, however in the past year I have spent a lot of time with others my age, made new friends, and have been conquering social milestones like going out to a concert even though I HATE loud sounds that I am not in control of, and I HATE being in large crowds of strangers, and I really don’t like being rained on and standing on concrete because that's what happened all in the span of a few hours watching Tim Minchin, a guy I had never heard of and was invited to go see perform live. It was an interesting and sensation-rocking performance. After a good hour, my brain calmed and I started to actually enjoy the environment which was something I thought I could not do. When the performance was over I was glad to return to a quiet pizza place with my friends to eat and relax. Sleep came easy and I don’t ever want to have to go through that again. More specifically at least not all those things at once. I don’t mind live music it just takes me some time to adapt and control the volume and adjust. I don’t mind the rain, it is quite calming and helps me sleep. I still don’t like large groups of people…

In the last few months, I have been working, my job is tiring and I don’t get paid enough. I live with a relative who I care for, they don’t work due to age and disability. My work covers some money towards bills and food, and anything I might need for the fortnight ahead like public transport which has equated to $10 a day from the suburbs to the city. I was traveling 1 hour a day to work and another back, it wasn’t that bad. In December I was moved off location to look after a pair of facilities revolved around storing of documentation, which is cool I guess. The exception to this is it takes me an extra 30 minutes every morning to get to work, because it is off the main facility and I need to get a 20-minute tram to the suburb it is in, then walk 10 minutes to the first building. While I don’t have a lot of work in the first building and I am able to take my lunch with me. My second building does not come with a room for me to store belongings and organize my gear. Instead, I am left with a large locker and nowhere to sit. I also have to walk between the two buildings which are another 10 minutes of traveling on foot. There is a bus but it does not come during the times I am required to move between my buildings. I work in silence most of the time, instructed by my employer to essentially be invisible, however, I am allowed to talk if someone asks me a question or engages me first. I was involved in a discussion with a worker who complained about how I was not like their regular, they said I did a good job and they understood that I would never be up to the same standards as their regular who is currently on break overseas. I was told that they would stay back later and do extra work (unpaid), would constantly engage with staff and bring in treats and hang out a lot. I felt like I had let them down but they were being unrealistic. I was told I could not use my normal gear due to the potential damage it could cause to the stuff that they hold within the building. I have begun to feel exhausted.

When I finish in my buildings I am required to travel back to the main facility and take my half-hour break. If I finish 15 mins early I can get a bus which makes this a lot faster, otherwise, I have to walk for 20 minutes to get to my tram. I usually finish a few minutes early but never enough to get the bus. I make it to the main facility by 1:30pm, if I am late it comes out of my break. My break is only 30 minutes, I cross the facility to the head office and eat there while I wait for my partner to arrive. We then proceed to work in our 4 designated buildings and by the end of the day I have walked roughly 11km, the majority of which is in the last 2 hours of my shift with my partner. Every night after work I would get home and remove my shoes. I would be barely able to walk. On Wednesday I couldn’t take it anymore, my feet were so sore that they still hurt that morning. I went to work, did my first 4 hours, and messaged my boss to let them know I was going straight home. I received a call from my boss explaining that they were cutting my hours down to 4. I usually work 6.5 hours a day. 4 hours is significantly less and it means my income has dropped substantially. I used my recent savings to purchase a new computer so now I have nothing left in my savings, my relative who lives with me is going into hospital for surgery in a few weeks and I have other issues requiring me to take time off work… this has been quite a chaotic period for me. On top of all this, I had covid twice within 1 year which really knocked me around even worse the second time.

So that has been a quick insight into what is going on I guess.

In lighter news, I finished watching Supernatural last year, started The Winchesters, and in one week I have watched almost all of Avatar the Last Air Bender. Oh, and a few stray cats now turn up at my door for food… which is nice. I do miss my dog though. Which is another thing. I set an ultimatum for my family, that I need to get a dog sometime this year. Up until this week I have been relatively financially stable and capable of looking after myself, my relative, and my animals (stray cats). When I was unemployed and a student I received less from the government but still survived with my dog and my relative and also managed the house when my relative was hospitalized previously. I have been mentally falling apart without my dog and his death has left me a lot lonelier than it probably seems. While I have great friends, I can’t have them over (house rules), I can’t be up late when they are and I am only really able to see my friends when we hang out with my cousins (who are also their friends). It just sorta sucks I guess.

I do have it better than a lot of people, but these last 12 months have really messed me up. I hope that this year turns out a little bit better, and I will be writing stuff soon.

- Kind Regards, Catstiel