vent h (if ur vvris ignore thissss!!)

normally id talk to somebody about this kinda stuff but i dont havve anybody right noww

i feel like my friend hates me evven wwhen shes said 100 times she dosent its hard to belivve cuz shes alwways "sleepin" and idk if thats true cuz you can easily go on invvis and call it a day, and shit i mean i get it ik im annoyin and dumb but idk 

its not that i wwant her to hate me but its kinda like 1, i deservve it, and 2, i feel like she secretly does and i dont wwanna wwaste her time. no matter howw many times i tell her to be honnest she says she lovves me but i dont feel like its true, evven wwith me havvein like no evvidence. idk i just wwant a wway to kms wwithout feelin bad but i cant bring myself to make her hate me evven wwhen i try i immedently regret it so idk wwhat to do. 

tbh idek wwhy i bother to stay alivve wwhen i knoww shes probably just pretendin to like me so she can make me look like an idiot later. idk wwhy she cares about me i deservve wworse but she still lovves me and i hate it. i wwish she wwould just tell me right noww that she hates me so ill knoww ivve made such a fuss ovver the smallest things for a reason